Jokes and Funny Gambling Stories

Do you like to laugh? Of course you do. Gambling is fun too, try to find some time for a smile and be happy. Enjoy the best jokes, quotes which we gathered and remember, if you are not using your smile, you are like man with a million dollars in the bank and no checkbook.

Sue Wins the Lottery

Sue (Remember "A Boy Named Sue?") runs into his house and looks for his wife, 'Jenna, pack up your stuff! I've just won the lottery!'

Jenna replies, 'Where are we going, honey? Should I pack for warm weather or cold?'

Sue responds, 'I don't care where you are going. Just get out of here!'

Smart Dog

Once a man entered a bar and saw a really weird poker game. When he looked closer he saw a dog sitting in front. He was confused with what he saw for the first time in his life. The dog was really playing. In a word, that very dog was doing everything that the men were doing at the table.

Another weird thing was that none of the players paid attention to the game with a dog.

Finally, the man cannot wait anymore and asks one of the human players, 'I can't imagine how this dog plays poker game! Is he the smartest dog in the world?'

The player looked at the man, inhaled a cigar he had in his mouth, smirked and said, 'He's not that smart. Every time he has a good hand he wags his tail.'

The Mistress

A long married couple is having dinner at a very expensive restaurant when suddenly very beautiful but strange woman comes to their table, kisses her husband in a French style and says, "Babe, gonna see you later..." and goes away. His wife was shocked and asked, "What was that?!!"

"Oh," the husband replies with a wide smile, "that chick is my mistress."

The wife says, "That's it; I'm leaving you. I want a divorce."

"I understand you," answers the husband, "But, you should remember, if we get divorced, there will be no more shopping trips to Italy, no Porsche or Lexus in the garage, and no more expensive clubs for you choose.

The wife was deciding but suddenly she saw their mutual friend with a beautiful woman. "Who's that woman with Al?" she asked. "That's his mistress," the husband answered. "Ours is prettier," replied the wife.

Solution of the problem

A man comes back home and finds his wife who was packing her stuff. "Where are you going? What are you doing?" asks the husband with a very surprised look on his face.

"To Vegas, dummy! I figured out that there are men that will pay me over $500 to do what I do for you free of charge for the last 10 years!"

The man waited for a while and decided to pack his stuff as well. "What are you doing? You're not coming with me." the wife replied.

"No dear, I'm going to Vegas with you... I want to see how you're going to survive with only $1,000 a year!"

Million-Dollar Fiancee

Long time ago there was a millionaire, who had a weird hobby - collecting alligators... live aligators. He had a separate pool for them. He also had a wonderful single daughter. One day he decided to organize a grand party, and during the party he offered a very alluring contest. He said "Every single man, who would like to get married with my pretty daughter. I suggest one million dollars or my daughter's hand, if one of you can swim through the pool full of the alligators and stay unharmed. Suddenly everybody heard a loud splash. The millionaire saw a man swimming in the pool. When young man got out of the pool the millionaire said, "It was incredible; what do you want: my daughter or one million dollars." The guy was so nervous and said, "I don't want your money or your daughter or both! I want to see that idiot who pushed me in that water!!!